i had to tell SOMEONE...

all over her face

someone — Wed, 08 Sep 2010 17:47:10 +0000

Silverman: wow that’s crazy
Goldberg: and it exploded all over her face

In reference to this video.

a slow man

someone — Wed, 25 Aug 2010 17:59:37 +0000

someone: just got back from checking out my new work area
someone: cube is about 30% smaller
someone: office is MUCH brighter
someone: and it’s a LONG ASS walk from parking
someone: but the parking is free
sane: long walk isn’t bad
sane: small cubicle sucks
someone: it’s not tiny
someone: just smallER
someone: and I walk 3 miles every morning anyway
someone: don’t need any more :)
someone: actually more like a jog
sane: we could all use a little more, i think
someone: I guess
someone: plus it’s near the college
someone: so I see coeds walking while I’m driving to/from
sane: i’m in bad shape… i get tired after a couple minutes of hard banging
someone: you best hope the wife likes a slow man
sane: we get the job done
someone: pleasure is had

the perfect woman

someone — Wed, 25 Aug 2010 13:51:09 +0000

She: I have football to keep me warm and fuzzy when true blood is over
Him: it’s fantasy draft season for me
She: i cant keep up with that but I like to hear other people talk about it
Him: heh
Him: the perfect woman

spreading

someone — Tue, 24 Aug 2010 20:37:01 +0000

someone: spreading my wisdom
someone: like jelly on a PB&J
jekyll: jelly is already in PB&J
someone: you know what I mean
someone: fine, like spreading butter on toast
someone: and then putting jelly on it SO THERE BEYOTCH!

the ref called her on it

someone — Fri, 13 Aug 2010 15:00:52 +0000

Ana: i got my boob grabbed at practice this week
Ana: the ref called her on it
Fred: you love it
Ana: it was funny
Ana: i think its an advantage
Ana: any time theyre looking at/thinking about my boobs is time theyre off their game
Fred: true
Fred: too bad you’re not playing against guys

Ana is a participant in her local Roller Derby league.

most fruits that aren’t melons

someone — Mon, 19 Jul 2010 18:38:53 +0000

Ana: for some reason i was going between crying and wanting to kill him yesterday
Ana: later i felt bad and bought him an apology mango
Fred: I’ve never gotten one of those
Ana: ill get you a mango if you like :)
Fred: I don’t care for mangos, myself
Ana: oh. theyre not that special for me, but he loves them
Fred: good to know
Fred: I like most fruits that aren’t melons
Fred: which is odd given the shape of EVERY woman I’ve ever dated

got me off my game

someone — Tue, 13 Jul 2010 17:32:08 +0000

switch to the ass

someone — Mon, 12 Jul 2010 16:31:15 +0000

I can spin you like a gyroscope

someone — Fri, 09 Jul 2010 15:30:18 +0000

I find that cosmically unfair

someone — Thu, 08 Jul 2010 20:29:05 +0000