Echo: http://abstrusegoose.com/207
Echo: Didn’t they have a psychiatrist on the ship?
November: Deanna had her hands full.
Echo: With Riker’s cock?
November: Worf’s, I think.
Echo: Mmm. Ridges.
November: Ew. And ow.

Fred: fail: http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/tfln/~3/hCYfkIZNsbI/54224
Fred: you’d think she would’ve noticed at least
Ana: low sensation, i guess?
Fred: dunno
Fred: I mean, the ass is pretty sensitive whether you’re a guy OR a girl

Ana: i walk in the building this morning, will is at the front desk
Ana: he pulls me behind a pole and says
Ana: ‘hey! do you have the cockhunger’
Fred: lol

several minutes pass

Fred: apparently you did because you just disappeared for 15 minutes

Ana doesn’t respond

someone: http://www.ihadtotellsomeone.com/161 — win or fail?
Aaron: win, for sure
Aaron: I’m not exactly sure what I would be able to do with that, in that situation
Aaron: but I’m pretty sure the hand/blow job description gets blurred when it’s a sock puppet
someone: heh
someone: don’t tell my wife

Ana: for about 2 minutes yesterday i was the most awesome person on the planet
Fred: you’re always in the top… oh… 1000
Fred: but go on.
Ana: well will and i were going to have sex
Ana: he was naked, i only had panties on
Ana: i was on top of him
Ana: we were on his bed, and there were some clothes nearby
Ana: so, i put on my sexiest look, lean down
Ana: pull socks onto my hands and make sock puppets
Ana: its hard to take a naked chick seriously when she has sock puppets.
Ana: “do you want me, baby” just isnt the same when coming from a sock
Fred: you are silly

Ana: so, i was at my boyfriend’s this weekend. his friend was over and was telling us about this porn he saw
Ana: apparently, in it, the guy jizzed on the girl’s face and got her in the eye
Ana: he thought this was HILARIOUS
Ana: we then went into heated debate about why this was/was not funny
Fred: well, if the girl laughs about it too, it’s funny
Fred: that’s my position
Ana: eh
Ana: i told him, if you’d ever gotten jizz in your eye, youd know why this isnt funny
Ana: then we talked about porn for like an hour

Ana: you know that stain master coating they put on fabrics- couches and stuff?
Fred: heard of it
Ana: turns out it repels jizz
Fred: awesome!

Complimenting others is a lot like anal. It’s uncomfortable and usually the only real reason to do it is to get something.

seen in “Something Positive” by R.K. Milholland

Tom: sometimes though the old stuff is the best
Tom: ideepthroat.com, for example
Tom: just imagine if her husband had been, like, only six inches
Tom: I’m sure they’d have a wonderful life together
Tom: but, I mean… all that talent would have gone undiscovered
Irv: it’s true!
Tom: and how about kacey… if her boyfriend hadn’t dumped her in HS (which is what I think happened), we’d never know she could take a 10-incher in the ass without flinching

Warning: search terms and URLs in this post will return NSFW content.

I have a very strong credo I follow with my — and [my wife's] — genetalia: if it ain’t broke, don’t fix it. Sure, it could probably be better, but you know what? It’s great, and it functions. So no piercings, no pills… just lube and champagne.

Said to someone during a discussion about marijuana.

Mindy: I get no alone time anymore
Mindy: I was masturbating this morning or trying to
Mindy: and husband walked in, interrupting, three times
Peter: you’d think he’d… you know… INVITE HIMSELF TO JOIN YOU IN BED?????
Peter: your wife is on the bed, playing with herself
Peter: BE LATE.
Mindy: ~rolls eyes~
Mindy: that would be nice

Larry: gotta love errors on a big site like that
Nicholas: speaking as someone who runs a big site — content people are fucking morons who don’t care about the internet at all, and trying to get them to proofread is more difficult than autofellatio
Nicholas: and about as personally rewarding to try and do
Larry: i dunno, autofellatio is way difficult, but i’d have to imagine the reward is great
Nicholas: broken neck?
Larry: actually, thats just sick
Nicholas: exactly
Nicholas: I was going to go with “less rewarding than being repeatedly kicked in the nuts” but I flipped a mental coin and it came up blowjob

Ivan: http://textsfromlastnight.com/view/51583
Erika: Why does that strike me as a very sarcastic comment?
Ivan: dunno
Ivan: I thought it was funny
Erika: Oh no, it is
Erika: very funny
Ivan: well, YOU’RE interested in anal
Erika: EXACTLY