Ana: for some reason i was going between crying and wanting to kill him yesterday
Ana: later i felt bad and bought him an apology mango
Fred: I’ve never gotten one of those
Ana: ill get you a mango if you like :)
Fred: I don’t care for mangos, myself
Ana: oh. theyre not that special for me, but he loves them
Fred: good to know
Fred: I like most fruits that aren’t melons
Fred: which is odd given the shape of EVERY woman I’ve ever dated

We’ll have a meeting, and you’ll take it up on the big screen.

My coworkers, after hearing I had completed a certification exam, telling me they would log in as one of the managers so I could take the test on his account, and everyone else could copy my answers.